Perfectionism. The bane of my existence. One of them anyway. I can't be a good mother when I'm trying to be perfect. It's not humanly possible. So what about that scripture in the Bible, "Be ye therefore perfect . . .?"
The rest of the scripture is, ". . . even as your Father in Heaven is perfect." He wasn't telling us that we need to be perfect now. He wants us to come to Him so he can be with us and help us. In the Book of Mormon, when the resurrected Christ shares this same scripture with the Nephites, he ends it with "even as I and your father in heaven is perfect." I think that's telling. The first time he taught this principle, he wasn't perfect yet. He didn't have a glorified, resurrected body like his father. It stands to reason that we won't be perfect, at the very least, until we're dead.
Heavenly Father's been trying to teach me . . .
As I served an LDS mission: (I'm paraphrasing here.) "You've been trying your whole life to 'appear' to be as perfect as humanly possible." I could see the members around me who were doing the same I'd always done, and I could see those around me who didn't 'look' or 'seem' perfect, but who were oh so willing to give. So, I determined to let go of how I 'appeared' and start working on myself from the inside out instead of the outside in. But even now, I worry too much about what others think, especially those whose opinions I most value. I read, last month, some advice given by a woman nearing the end of her life: "What others think of you is none of your business." That's become a mantra of mine.
As a parent: "It doesn't have to be a certain way." What do you mean? The sacrament prayers have to be said a certain way. "Yes, but not on the first attempt, or the second attempt, or the third attempt, or however many more . . ." You understand. The spirit didn't decide to slip this message to me until a time last summer when I was at the lowest of the low, pleading for His help with my weaknesses. I was humble enough at that point to take it, and keep it. To actually believe it. And I repeat it to myself when I'm tempted to get to uptight in how things are going with my kids, in my expectations of them or of myself.
At Time Out for Women this year: "You don't have to do life by yourself." My mission president used to say, "You're throwing the football at one end of the field then trying to run to the other end of the field to catch it." I know I can ask for help. I guess I have a hard time knowing when to ask and who to ask. But even more importantly, I didn't realize that I'm so imperfect every minute of every day of my life that I actually need the Savior to do everything with me. How about that? I really can let go of that stupid perfectionism thing.
Still, have a hard time remembering these "messages to me" (I guess 'cause I'm far from perfect at not trying to be perfect.) But, darn it, I want to learn to remember. I want to learn to better let go of what I think others are expecting of me . . . and let myself be imperfect. Does that mean I'm "giving up?" That I'm not consistently striving to do and be better? No. And the ironic thing is that I'm better able to be better, when I'm not trying to be perfect.
8 comments:
THANK YOU!! I feel like this OVER and OVER again too! I love the sacrament part. It doesn't matter how many times it takes to get it right. I remember sitting in Sacrament Meeting one time and the Stake Pres. couldn't understand the accent of the African Brother saying the prayer. It took about 8 times. About 6 weeks ago, our Bishop had the water redone because he wasn't sure it was done right and they had gone ahead too quickly. It doesn't matter how many redo's it takes :) Miss you TONS!!
Great post, Becca! I need to work on this too! you are a great example to me!
I LOVE this Becca! Some wise words here. And just when I needed to hear them too. :)
Yah, it's all about being a work in progress, isn't it? Jared has been so good at teaching me this. We must be gentle with ourselves.
Those are some great little snippets (and the overall was great, too) that I'm going to stick up on my walls and mirror. I especially liked the image of throwing the football, hello, I need to get over that too. Anyway, I needed some positive thoughts this morning, thanks!
You always write to my heart. You are amazing, and I appreciate the courage you show in being so honest in sharing a concern that so many of us struggle with. Would it be ok if I said I think you are a "perfect" friend?
As we recall, the verses just prior to "be ye therefore perfect" have to do with love and unity of purpose; and trying to be like our Father and our Brother in those ways--rather than trying to be perfect at a perceived list of "DO's"--has always seemed a bit more attainable...and has given us hope. Please remember that we love, respect, admire and appreciate you, even tho' you're only "PRACTICALLY PERFECT in every way"! =)
Thank you so much for sharing this.
Post a Comment